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Six year old Alana, Honey Boo Boo, and her mom June took America by storm with there outlandish redneck ways on Toddlers & Tiaras and now TLC has given the family their own show Here Comes Honey Boo Boo . Talk about a come-up. The crude, shrewd, redneck, country ways of the cast of TLC’s Here Comes Honey Boo Boo aren’t for everybody. The show is creating mass hysteria because people either absolutely love or are completely disgusted with the show.  The show follows Alana and her family: stay-at-home mom June, chalk-mining dad Sugar Bear, and sisters 12-year-old Lauryn “Pumpkin”, 15-year-old Jessica “Chubbs”, and 17-year-old pregnant Anna “Chickadee”.

TLC has only aired 3 episodes of the show but the things that I’ve witnessed are jaw dropping and hilarious. This show is not for the easily offended, but if you pay really close attention you may actually learn something from this bunch, especially Honey Boo Boo’s mom June. But let’s hope that none of it really sinks in.

“Biscuit” is an alternative name for the female sexual organ

June, Mama, says that it looks like a biscuit when you open it up. June weighs 303 lbs, so it doesn’t surprise me that she compares the vagina to food.

Elvis is Santa Clause’s helper

Alana, Honey Boo Boo, was practicing a rock and roll sequence with her new dance instructor and when asked if she knew who Elvis was, she said without a second though “Santa Clause’s helper”. Classic Alana.

Sugar Bear is June’s “shack em up mate”

June and Sugar Bear aren’t married, their “shack em up mates”. Sugar Bear says he’s asked and would marry her in a heartbeat but June’s content with shacking. Maybe she’s waiting for someone better to come along.

Poor People Know How to Improvise

Pageants are June’s passion and she’s not going to let anything stand in the way. Why pay for a new Slip and Slide when you can just use the waterhose outside? To save money on household goods, extreme coupon and go to auctions. Since Alana keeps growing out of her dresses, make sure that her next dress is a corset style so it can grow with her.  June is a mom that knows how to improvise and get by.

They Are Speaking English

Almost the entire show is in subtitles. They are speaking English, but they use such a strong country dialect that if the subtitles aren’t on, you don’t know a damn thing anyone in the family says. Sorry I don’t speak redneck.

June isn’t Big on Hygiene

June has “bugs” her words, not mines. She’s constantly scratching. Constantly sneezing and not covering her nose. She admits that she has “neck crust” whatever that is. And she’s perfectly fine with Alana’s pet piglet “Glitzy” running around the house. Glitzy crapped on the table, I doubt that June sanitized the table, let alone threw it out.